Come out ! Part II

Second part of our feature about “Coming out”:

I’m Gay: Will My Family and Friends Reject or Stop Loving Me?

Answer: Some family and friends do have a hard time accepting that someone they love is gay or bisexual. However, there are many times where they are extremely supportive. Each person’s situation and surroundings are different and there is no definite way to tell how well your family will accept your sexuality. Just be strong and remember to come out to family and friends at your own pace. You can’t choose your family, but if your friends do not accept you for who you are, then they don’t need to be in your live anyway. You are in complete control, don’t let fear hold you back. Your Gay Life Guide as well as support groups are available if you need to talk.

Tell your family and friends you´re gay when you´re ready.

Every gay or bisexual man considers how their family and friends will react to the news that they are gay. Will your family reject you? Will your friends suddenly feel uncomfortable? Will you lose good friends or family members? These are valid questions that we must consider and unfortunately, there is no way to predict how your loved ones will react to your sexuality. The most important thing to consider is your own health and well being.

Come out to family and friends at a pace that makes YOU comfortable. There is no set time line or proper order of disclosure and each person’s situation is different. Nonetheless, the one common thread amongst gay men is the liberation they feel once they no longer have to hide their feelings. Keeping your sexuality buried can be devastating to your stability in the long run.

Surround yourself with as many positive influences, just in case your folks don’t take the news so well. Try and educate your family about your lifestyle and find a support program at a local gay community center.

Coming out at work…

Jonard won’t stop talking about his new fiancé. Ted jokes about his wife’s new tattoo. Eric repeatedly complains about his nagging girlfriend. And this is all at work! There your sit quiet, avoiding every social conversation, since your gossip would be, not about a woman, but another man. In order for you to share in the man-to-man pow wow, you have to come out. But are you ready?

Many people who are out as gay, lesbian or bisexual to their families, friends and neighbors are still not out at work. Coming out at work can be scary. And with good reason. In most states it is still legal to fire an employee simply because they are gay or lesbian.
Before you come out at work, consider the pros and cons

Pros of Coming Out at Work
# You no longer have to lie about what you did over the weekend and who you did it with.
# It may end rude jokes or comments about gays and lesbians from co-workers.
# You may become closer to co-workers now that you are more open about yourself.
# The stress of living a double life may go away. Your confidence and job performance could improve.
# The stress of having to hide a part of yourself may go away.

Cons of Coming Out at Your Job
# You may be fired, or let-go.
# Some co-workers may treat you differently now that they know you are gay.
# Just because you are out at work does not mean your co-workers will treat your partner as they do partners of straight co-workers.

Before You Come Out at Work

Before you come out at work make sure that you are ready. Once you come out, you cannot go back in the closet. You should always hope for the best, but you must be ready to receive negative reactions from bosses or co-workers.

Assess the situation. If you work in a hostile or homophobic environment, coming out is probably not going to make that go away.

Are there other gay or lesbian employees at your job? If so, try to connect with them and see how different bosses and co-workers have reacted to their coming out.

Find out if your company has a non-discrimination policy that includes sexual orientation.

If you think someone who has power over you may react negatively, you may want to consider whether or not coming out is the right decision.

What is your idea about coming out at work ? Please: tell us your opinion in the comments !

Related to this and interesting:

• Come out – and live !